Are Wedding Vow Renewals for You?
By Jimmy Sliwa
On July 3rd, 2022, I had the honor to watch my bride Anna Sliwa walk down the aisle to me a second time.
We had a lot of mixed opinions on having a wedding vow renewal.
- Anna’s friends thought it was cute.
- Some friends didn’t understand.
- And grandma had never heard of such a thing.
But in the 8 years that I have been married, I have learned that the only opinion that truly matters is what my wife thinks.
Vow renewals have become more popular in recent years. The purpose of a vow renewal is re-commit yourself to your spouse. It is the perfect way to celebrate a deeper and more mature love.
In this post, I will give you the reasons why we decided to renew our vows and give a case why you may want to consider a vow renewal too
Why We Chose to Renew Our Vows.
The Sliwa Family
The #1 reason that we decided to renew our vows was because I had broken my vows the first go around. (Trust had been broken.)
Like most couples on their first marriage, we were young and naive.
At our first wedding, Anna and I rarely argued, we shared the same interests, and thought we had excellent communication.
Basically, we thought we were soulmates destined for eternity.
In all actuality, we make a great couple, but even the strongest couples have issues. There is no perfect marriage.
Long story short, I did not disclose to Anna that I was addicted to pornography. Obviously, this came as a huge shock to her when she discovered this evil habit on two separate occasions. To make matters worse, I lied about it over and over again. The lies and deceit led us to rock bottom.
We chose to separate to give me a chance to work on myself and my faith. It was at this time that I decided to double down on my pursuit in God and my pursuit of my wife.
Fast forward 2.5 years later, and there she is walking down the aisle to me, again. It was a second chance. It was marriage our 2.0.
The beautiful thing is that through all the pain and heartache, Anna and I have grown much deeper in love. Like fire refines gold, a marriage tried by fire has the opportunity to be refined.
We decided to renew our vows again because we had a renewed vision of who each other were. We had been married over 8 years at that point and had seen each other in all situations. We decided to renew our vows because Faith, Hope, and Love had all been restored in our marriage.
7 Reasons to Have a Vow Renewal
- You have hit a major marriage milestone (i.e. 10 or 20 years) and want to celebrate your commitment to each other.
- Trust has been restored within your marriage.
- You want to relive the best moment of your life.
- You have overcome a significant obstacle in marriage (i.e. separation, loss of child, significant illness.)
- You eloped and never had a proper wedding celebration.
- You want your children to observe you making commitments and sticking to them.
- You want to spark love and joy back into your marriage.
The Benefits of a Vow Renewal
Your wedding day was probably the best day of your life. Who wouldn’t want to relive that day?
(#1) The first benefit of renewing your vows is that you get to relive your best day. Sure, a vow renewal is much different than the original wedding, but if done correctly, a vow renewal can be a beautiful thing.
There is no legal binding taking place, but there is a spiritual binding. Renewal is what good marriages are all about.
I can’t think of a better way to celebrate your love and commitment than to renew your vows. And renewing vows in front of a few close friends and family was a wonderful thing.
(#2) The second benefit of a vow renewal is that it will be a memorable date. If your wife is anything like mine, then she loves to get dressed up for an important event. My wife had an absolute blast getting dolled up for this event. She got a pedicure, eyelashes, hair extensions, and the whole shabang!
My sister-in-law took professional photos so we can hang pictures of our renewal throughout our home. Thanks Emily!
I am confident that I will look back at the pictures with fond memories of our commitment to each other.
(#3) The last benefit of a vow renewal is that it builds on the trust bond. When I got married the first time, I hardly knew what I was doing. 8 years later my vows are backed up by experience. They are backed by years failure and years of forgiveness.
Making promises after experiencing life with your spouse has a certain depth that you didn’t have on your wedding day.
Conclusion
The purpose of a vow renewal is to honor the commitment you made to your spouse years ago. It’s like checking the map to reorient your marriage.
The longer you have been married the deeper love and affection you have for your spouse. A mature marriage should be celebrated. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed not just endured.
In my opinion there is no better way to commemorate your love than you have a wedding vow renewal.
If done right, vows renewals can be a spark of love in the marriage. You have the opportunity to relive the best day of your life. You get the opportunity to look your best and make memories. And finally, you get the opportunity to recommit to the love of your life.
