Top Marriage Growth Hacks of All Time
By Jimmy Sliwa
There is no secret formula for a successful marriage. Every marriage is far too unique.
Of course, I wish a “husband’s checklist” existed.
Wouldn’t it be so much easier?
A “good husband’s checklist” would have saved me from dropping the ball this past weekend. I got distracted and let my wife handle the kids even though she already had an overwhelming week :/
Without a formula, what’s a husband to do?
Even though there is no “one size fits all” formula for a successful marriage; there are a few principles that govern successful marriages.
I consider these principles marriage hacks because they are not difficult to understand, but profound in their results.
If you work these 3 marriage hacks, you will reap a deeper level of intimacy and respect from your mate.
In this post I am going to show you 3 marriage growth hacks that will propel your marriage to another level of awesome.
1. Be Extremely Vulnerable.
On a scale from 1-10, how vulnerable are you with your spouse? The average couple ranks themselves at a 4.
40% vulnerability is not enough to sustain a marriage. The closer that you can get to 100% vulnerability, the more intimate your marriage will be.
What’s the big deal with vulnerability anyway?
Vulnerability is opening yourself up to your spouse. It’s letting your spouse into every corner of your life – pretty or ugly. Vulnerability is sharing your emotions and fears and shortcomings as well as your dreams and desires. To be vulnerable means to hold nothing back.
In other words, the more vulnerable you are, the more that your spouse knows you. Vulnerability is literally the key to unlocking intimacy in marriage.
Is it scary? Yes!
Is it difficult? Yes!
But there is no greater feeling in the world than to be fully known and fully loved by your spouse.
When my wife chose to forgive me for my porn addiction, I literally was brought to tears. She fully understood that I am a flawed human being, yet still chose to see the potential in me. It was never easy, but in hindsight it was totally worth it. Now we have a level of vulnerability in which I can share with her when I am tempted or feeling stressed out.
I am honored to share this level of vulnerability with my wife.
5 Practical Ways to Be More Vulnerable
1. Have Sex with the Lights On! 
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2. Pray Together. 
3. Share Your Biggest Fears.
4. Share Your B.H.A.G. (Big Hairy Audacious Goals). 
5. Talk About Your Temptations. 
2. Lead By Example.
Let me share with you a little secret.
Your wife wants YOU to take the lead!
How do I know this?
I know this because she wanted YOU to propose. I know this because she wanted YOU to plan confront that situation. I know this because she wanted YOU to provide for your family.
Your wife wants YOU to take the lead.
The most effective way to lead her is to lead by example. No one likes the coach that says one thing and does another.
It’s hypocritical. Don’t be a hypocrite.
If there are things you would like to see from your spouse, then you need to be the first to do them.
Examples of Leading By Example
* If you would like to see your spouse begin exercising -> then you should first start exercising and getting healthy. 
* If you would like to see your spouse spend less time on social media ->then you need to spend less time on social media. 
* If you would like to see your spouse stick to a budget -> then you need to stick to the budget. 
You get the point.
Currently, I am trying to lead my wife spiritually. That is why I choose to pray before bed each night. I am not always great at it, but I am trying to set the example.
3. We > Me
Selfishness is the antithesis of a thriving marriage. It is impossible to have a thriving marriage if one (or both) of the spouses are selfish.
It’s the Me, Me, Me mentality that will drive your marriage to destruction.
Instead, you need to adopt a We, We, We mentality.
How do you do this?
First, you have to recognize that you are one flesh. The marriage bond is two people becoming one family (1 + 1 = 1).
When your wife is hurting, then you will be hurting. If your wife is happy then you will be happy.
The first step to becoming less selfish is to realize that you and your wife are one.
After you realize this, then make serving her a priority. Consider her wants and desires ahead of your own.
This is very challenging to accept, but by serving her you are actually loving yourself. Her love and respect for you will grow as you demonstrate, through action, where your priorities are.
5 Practical Ways to Become Less Selfish
1. Spend more on her than you do on yourself.
2. Ask her questions about herself and her day. 
3. Celebrate her wins!
4. Right a list of things you are thankful for. 
5. Acknowledge your own mistakes and shortcomings. ☹️
