The Art of Complimenting Your Wife
By Jimmy Sliwa
I once hear on the radio that the best compliment you can give a guy is to say “Wow, you smell great!”
While I don’t know if this is actually the greatest compliment, it does highlight how compliments can make you feel like a million bucks.
Well timed, genuine compliments are vital for all relationships. This includes marriage.
Compliments just make you feel good and appreciated!
Chances are that your marriage could benefit from a healthy dose of good cheer. There are even better odds that your wife wants to hear more compliments from YOU, starting today!
But giving (and receiving) compliments doesn’t always come easy for guys. Many husbands I have talked to, have shared how difficult it can be to give a compliment even though they all agree it’s important.
The most cited reason – self-esteem issues.
The lower your self-esteem, the more difficulty it can be to give and receive compliments.
But lack of self-respect shoulder never be an excuse to withhold praise.
In fact, giving genuine compliments can actually improve the self -esteem of the giver AND receiver.
This means that making an effort to give more compliments to your wife can improve both y’alls self-respect.
That’s a win- win!
Compliments are more than just words; they are affirmations of love, appreciation, and respect. They can breathe new life into a relationship, making your partner feel valued and cherished.
In this post, we’ll explore why giving compliments to your wife is crucial and provide tips on how to do it effectively.’
Why Compliments Matter
1. Boosts Self Esteem
Everyone likes to feel appreciated and noticed. Compliments can boost your wife’s self-esteem, making her feel confident and valued. When she knows that you see and appreciate her efforts, it reinforces her self-worth.
As a bonus, you will get better at giving genuine compliments which in turn help to boost your own self-esteem.
2. Strengthen Emotional Connection
Compliments help to deepen the emotional bond between partners. Just think back to when you were dating – compliments flowed like the Mississippi River.
Frequent and specific compliments serve as reminders of your affection and admiration, fostering a sense of closeness and intimacy.
3. Encourage Positive Behavior
Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool. Complimenting your wife on specific behaviors or traits encourages her to continue those actions, creating a positive cycle in your relationship.
I learned this when my wife started a new Beach Body exercise program. When I focused my compliments on her work ethic and dedication to the program it gave her positive reinforcement to continue going.
4. Balances Criticism
In any relationship, there will be moments of criticism or conflict. Regular compliments can balance these moments, ensuring that the overall tone of your interactions remains positive and affirming.
Renowned researcher Dr. Gottman suggests that healthy relationships have a balance of 20:1 positive to negative interactions. This implies that you ought to dish out plenty of positive interactions to keep the relationship humming along.
How to Compliment Your Wife
Alright, you understand that compliments are very important for your marriage. But not all compliments are the same.
Disingenuous, non-specific compliments will fall flat. And in some instances, can have a negative impact on your relationship.
Instead, your compliments need to be given with G.U.S.T.O. – Genuine, uplifting, specific, timely, and openly.
G. Be Genuine
Authenticity is key. Your compliments should come from the heart and reflect your true feelings. Insincere or exaggerated compliments can be easily detected and may have the opposite effect.
U. Uplift Her Effort and Character
While it’s lovely to compliment your wife’s appearance, also focus on her efforts and character traits. Acknowledge her hard work, kindness, intelligence, and other qualities you admire.
For instance, “I really appreciate how patient and understanding you are with our children. It’s one of the things I love most about you.”
Compliments that uplift her effort and character contribute to a deeper emotion connection beyond just the physical.
S. Be Specific
General compliments like “You’re amazing” are nice, but specific compliments carry more weight. Notice the details and mention them. For example, “You did an incredible job organizing the kids’ birthday party. Your attention to detail made it so special.”
T. Timing is Everything
Choose the right moments to give compliments. Unsolicited compliments are often the most impactful. However, don’t shy away from complimenting her during tough times or after a disagreement to help mend any emotional rifts.
O. Openly - Private and Public
While private compliments are essential for intimacy, public compliments can also be powerful. They show your wife and others that you are proud of her and value her highly. Be mindful, though, to ensure public compliments are not embarrassing or uncomfortable for her.
Examples of Compliments Given with G.U.S.T.O.
Genuine, uplifting, specific, timely, and openly.
- “You look stunning in that dress. It really brings out the color of your eyes.”
- “I love how you always find a way to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome.”
- “Your dedication to your work is truly inspiring. I’m so proud of you.”
- “I’m grateful for how supportive and understanding you are. It means a lot to me.”
