How to Treat Her Like a Lady

By Jimmy Sliwa

The other day I was drying dishes after dinner. You’d think this would have scored me some brownie points except I made a critical mistake.

Mid-drying a dish I flipped the towel off my shoulder and smacked my wife’s butt. Hard!

A little too hard, and she was unamused.

She snarked at me, “Ouch! I’m a lady and I like gentle touch. I don’t like when you treat me like one of the boys.”

Now, to be fair I don’t go around smacking my friend’s butts, but her point was well made.

She wanted to be treated like a lady – gentle and sweet. And I can agree that my butt smack was untimely and too aggressive.

But what exactly does it mean to treat her like a lady?

Treating your wife like a lady means showing her respect and care in ways that make her feel cherished. It’s rooted in attentiveness and embodied in the principles of being a gentleman.

But first things first- If you want to treat your wife like a lady, you have to know what ladies like.

Otherwise, you may end up making well-intentioned efforts that miss the mark entirely.

I know it’s unpopular these days to cram groups into stereotypes, but there are some universal ways to show respect and attentiveness toward your lady.

If you want to treat your wife like a lady, these are the things you should prioritize first.

5 Best Ways to Treat Her Like a Lady

1. Gentle, Nonsexual Touch

Ladies don’t want to be grabbed or touched in ways that are meant to lead somewhere else. They want soft, affectionate touch that make them feel cared for – not objectified.

A tender touch on her arm or a gentle hand hold can do wonders for making her feel cherished. These moments show affection without expectation and reinforce emotional intimacy.

5 Ways Touch Can Turn Her On. (hint: groping doesn’t = romance) – The Husband’s Club

2. Respectful Words

Words are powerful. They can be either uplifting or undercutting. Ladies like to have compliments and affirmations that are uplifting. The best way to do this is through well timed compliments.

Compliment her – not just on her looks but on who she is. Recognize her intellect, her kindness, or her drive. Tell her you appreciate the small things she does, from taking care of the home to handling life’s challenges with grace. Compliments should be genuine and without ulterior motives.

The Art of Complimenting Your Wife – The Husband’s Club

3. Consideration

A gentleman is considerate, and ladies want this from their man. Being considerate is all about the little things. Things like remembering her coffee order or her favorite songs show that you are attentive to her interests.

Being considerate is about knowing her preferences and showing you care enough to pay attention. This elevates your wife, letting her know that you value her.

4. Be Supportive

Being present when she needs you is one of the greatest ways to treat your wife like a lady. Sometimes it’s not about solving her problems but about holding space for her emotions. You can do this by letting her vent when she needs to without offering unsolicited advice. A lady values emotional safety, knowing she can share her feelings without judgement.

5. Effort in Your Appearance

Putting effort into your appearance isn’t being flashy or overly concerned with looks, but it’s about showing respect for yourself and her. I’m not talking about checking your abs in the mirror, I’m talking about being presentable and handsome when you are around your wife.

When you take care of your own appearance, it shows that you value your presentation to your wife. It also makes you more attractive to her. The small effort of looking put together goes a long way in showing that you take pride in being someone she would want to be around.

6. Treat Her Chivalrously

Chivalry isn’t old fashioned, but rather a sign of respect. Today, modern chivalry looks like opening the door, offer your coat when it’s cold, or giving up your seat when she’s standing.

These gestures and more are timeless because they signal respect. And respect never goes out of style. Remember, chivalry doesn’t need to be grand- it’s the everyday actions that remind her she’s valued.

31 Great Examples of Modern Chivalry – The Husband’s Club

Why It Matters

Everyone wants to be treated with respect. Think about it:

Teenagers don’t want to be treated like kids.
Men don’t want to be treated like they are incapable
And ladies don’t want to be treated like one of the boys.

At the core, your wife desires to be seen, heard, and appreciated for who she is. When you treat her like a lady, she will feel these things.

Like a flower, if you treat her right, she will bloom. If you neglect her needs and desires, she will wither.

Ultimately, treating your wife like a lady goes beyond etiquette or tradition—it’s about intention. Thoughtful gestures, whether big or small, show her and the world that love is an active choice. They are daily reminders that she is a treasure, worth your effort, care, and devotion. In doing so, you cultivate a marriage filled with respect, romance, and unwavering partnership.