How to Love Your Wife Unconditionally
By Jimmy Sliwa
The best way to love your wife is unconditionally. Unconditional love means that you give her your love freely and do not expect anything in return.
Maybe the best example of unconditional love is the love that a parent has for their new-born child. When my son Jayden was born, he was completely reliant on me. I gave him food, changed his diapers, and went to work 40 hours a week to provide for him. He on the other hand was unable to give me anything back.
He was a baby and could do nothing to serve me in return. This kind of relationship was totally 1 sided. I did ALL of the serving. But I didn’t care because my love for my son was unconditional. I did not expect nor need to get anything in return from him.
The same should go for the marriage relationship. The goal of love is to give it without condition. Serve with expecting anything in return. .
To love your wife unconditionally means to love her with no strings attached.
What Does it Mean to Love With No Strings Attached?
Loving your wife with no strings attached is no easy feat.
I’m sure I am not the only guy who wants something in return for my efforts.
“If I am going to invest all this time into serving my wife then she should serve me too?“
This is a natural response. I work hard to serve my wife and want to see some payoff. But the reality is that marriage rarely works like this. Worse yet is that this self-centered mentality will drive your marriage into the ground.
Marriage is not a give and take. A healthy marriage should be a give and give. That is, two people giving 100% to the marriage.
Keeping score is a vicious cycle that needs to be broken. The best thing you can do to enhance your marriage is to serve your wife and leave it at that.
With no strings attached, just serve her.
- Don’t expect a compliment.
- Don’t expect sex.
- Don’t expect she will serve you in return.
7 Practical Examples of Unconditional Love
1. Serve Without Seeking Recognition
When I have had a stressful day, and my wife knocks off some items off my to-do list she is demonstrating service without seeking recognition. This type of service is the best way to demonstrate compassion and selflessness. Serving without seeking recognition means helping others without expecting praise or validation as the reward. Instead, the focus is on the act of service itself. By serving in this way, you prioritize the needs of others above your own ego, showing genuine care and empathy. This kind of selfless service is what unconditional love is all about.
2. Give Without Expecting Anything in Return
Have you ever received a gift out of the blue? Didn’t it feel great to receive something without feeling the need to reciprocate?
Giving without expecting anything in return isn’t easy, but it is a profound expression of unconditional love. It may involve offering your time or resources without expecting reciprocation. This form of giving is rooted in a genuine desire to support, uplift, or comfort others, purely out of love – nothing more. It demonstrates a deep understanding of the inherent value of generosity and the joy that comes from helping others. You know the saying, “it is better to give than to receive.”
3. Apologize Without Excuse
Apologizing is hard. Apologizing without making excuses is next level hard!
A genuine “I’m Sorry” is a powerful way to take responsibility for your actions and show genuine remorse. It involves acknowledging that you have hurt or wronged your wife, without trying to justify or minimize your behavior. Instead, you focus on understanding the impact of your actions on the other person and expressing sincere regret. This kind of apology requires humility and a willingness to be vulnerable, as you admit fault without trying to shift blame or make excuses. It can help to repair relationships, rebuild trust, and demonstrate a commitment to personal growth and positive change.
4. Accept Without Judgement
Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are. Accepting without judgment is a fundamental quality of unconditional love. It means embracing someone wholly, without imposing conditions or expectations based on their beliefs or choices. It’s about acknowledging their humanity, understanding that we are all flawed and make mistakes; Yet despite these mistakes, still valuing them for who they are. This form of love allows for a deep trust in the marriage as individuals feel safe to be themselves without fear of rejection. It fosters deep connections and a sense of security, knowing that your wife is loved not for what she does, but for who she is.
5. Forgive Without Keeping Score
Forgiving and keeping a tally is not actually forgiveness at all. True forgiveness is the cornerstone of unconditional love.
Forgiving without keeping score is an act of grace and compassion that liberates both the forgiver and the forgiven. It means letting go of resentment and the desire for revenge and choosing instead to release the person from their past. By forgiving without keeping score, you free yourself from the burden of carrying grudges and allow yourself to move forward with a lighter heart. It does not mean forgetting the offense or pretending that it did not happen, but rather, it involves choosing to release the negative emotions and choosing to focus on healing and growth.
6. Celebrate Without Reservation
Celebrating without reservation is a liberating experience that involves fully embracing happiness, without dampening the moment. It means allowing yourself to be completely present and immersed in the celebration of your wife. By celebrating without reservation, you open yourself up to the full spectrum of emotions that come with joy, such as laughter, dancing, and sharing in the excitement with others. It’s about embracing life’s moments of triumph and happiness wholeheartedly, savoring the experience and creating lasting memories.
7. Support Without Ulterior Motives
Supporting your wife without ulterior motives is a genuine act of kindness. Pure support involves offering assistance to your wife without expecting anything in return. It means providing support out of a sincere desire to see the other person succeed or overcome a challenge, without seeking personal gain or advantage. This kind of support is rooted in empathy, compassion, and a genuine desire to help others, rather than in any hidden agenda or desire for reciprocity. It fosters trust, strengthens relationships, and creates a sense of solidarity and community, as people feel valued and supported for who they are, not for what they can offer in return.
The Benefits of Unconditional Love
Although unconditional love expects nothing in return, there are some surprising benefits of extending unconditional love.
Your wife may not even notice when you serve her; and this is okay. For “It is better to give than to receive.“
This truth is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. In my own marriage it was. Giving selflessly is a challenge, but there really is no other way to demonstrate an unconditional love to your wife.
And you know what…from loving my wife without strings attached I began to experience fruit from unexpected places.
- I found Joy in service as I saw my wife take a sigh of relief.
- I found Peace in my home.
- I found that our communication improved 10-fold.
- I found that we were more intimate– emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
It actually became a challenge for me to find ways to brighten my wife’s day. In return my day is actually better as well.
Your job as a husband is to love your wife unconditionally.
If you want some ideas on how to love your wife, I created a monster list of ways to love your wife unconditionally.
