The Best Husbands Always Do This
By Jimmy Sliwa
You know what’s impressive? Those couples that can finish each other’s sentences. It’s like they seem to know what the other one is thinking.
Now that’s connection!
If you want a deep connection in your relationship, there is one thing you must never stop doing.
-- Never Stop Studying Your Wife --
What do I mean by “study her?”
To study your wife means to learn, and continue to learn, all there is to know about her. You do this by watching, listening, and observing her in action.
To study your wife means you are trying to understand what makes her tick. That way you can discover mysteries like:
- What she likes and doesn’t like to wear
- What pushes her buttons.
- What she needs when she is sad.
- What her coffee order is.
There is a lot to know. And the best husbands demonstrate their interest in their wife because they never stop studying her.
Why should you be a student of your wife?
The reality is that your wife is always changing. She isn’t the same girl that you married. This is actually great news and something to be celebrated. As your wife matures and takes on new roles in life, change is inevitable.
My wife went through some drastic changes when she took on the role of mother after the birth of my son. I had front row seats to observe my wife as she traded out the manicured hands for poopy diapers.
Life has a way of making us change. And believe me, you don’t want to be left behind.
So…to avoid becoming complacent in your marriage, you need to be a student of your wife.
Think about it this way. When you dated your wife, you studied her every move. If it wasn’t for love, it would actually have been a little creepy.
But by studying her you learned what makes her tick. You were then able to pursue her and guess what she chose you!
You lucky dog.
But then you got married and most likely quit studying your wife. That’s what happened to me (and still happens).
Learn From My Mistake:
Just last month, my wife and I went on our first kid-less vacation. We were stoked to relax in paradise without the pressure of entertaining kids.
The problem is, we totally forgot that we vacation differently.
Anna (an exhausted mom) wanted to relax and sunbathe on the beach for 8 hours a day.
I wanted to snorkel and surf and hike and explore.
There is a big difference in how we vacation; and I was oblivious to it. It actually caused a lot of tension on our tropical getaway because I didn’t do vacation at her pace.
Instead of studying her and realizing the difference, I pushed her to go my adventurous pace.
You can imagine how upset Anna was when she finally had a chance to chill out from the kids, and I wouldn’t let her rest in peace.
All of the tension could have been avoided if I just took the time to study my wife and go at her leisure.
Some lessons are learned the hard way. To help you learn from my mistakes I created a list of 6 tips to help you be a student of your wife.
6 Tips to Keep Studying Your Wife
Learn Her Love Language
If you are married and don’t know your wife’s love language than you are navigating your marriage blindly.
A love language is the way in which you express and receive love. For most guys the term “love language” may sound a bit feminine or abstract, but learning your wife’s love language can give you some serious advantages to having a romantic relationship.
Don’t navigate your love life without knowing your wife’s love language. If you want to learn the way your wife wants and needs to be loved, then take the free test here –>
Accept Change
Chances are that your wife is not the same girl that you married. The reality is that people change. This is actually a good thing assuming that your wife has matured since you first got married.
Since people change, you need to learn to accept that change. Don’t wish for the “good ole days,” but look forward to the future. Learn to see your wife’s changes in maturity and growth as something precious. After all, you wouldn’t want to be married to someone that stays stagnant.
Watch her when she isn't looking
One key to studying your wife is to watch her when she isn’t looking. If your wife knows that you are watching, she may behave a certain way. If you study her when she isn’t aware you are watching, you may learn something new about her.
Try studying her when she isn’t aware you are watching. It’s not creepy because you are married. Next time, watch her as she falls asleep or perhaps watch her as she parents your children.
ask Her Questions
Don’t only talk about yourself; ask questions about your wife too. This is the most simple and straightforward way to learn something new about your wife.
If you want some ideas and good conversation starters, this is a great place to start –>
ask your in-laws about her childhood
One of the best ways to learn about your wife is to ask your in-laws about her childhood. This can give you good insight into her core personalities.
As a bonus, you may learn some funny and humorous information about your wife that you can use as fire power in the future.
learn her personality style
My wife use to be an extrovert, but now she is an introvert. It was a total surprise to me when I learned that personalities change. This means that your wife’s personality can and will change over the years. Don’t fall for the myth that your wife’s personality will always be the same. Instead aim to learn new things about her personality over the years.
My favorite way to learn about my wife’s personality traits is to take the Ennegram test. It’s free and quite comprehensive.
You can find it here –> The Enneagram Personality Test (truity.com)
