Top 50 Relationship Pet Peeves
By Jimmy Sliwa
The way my wife opens a bag of chips drives me nuts!
She tears it vertically like some ravaged savage.
Everyone knows you should cut the top off so you can reseal the bag of chips like a civilized human.
Now to be fair, I’m no chip angel. My wife get so annoyed when I leave two chips and put the bag back.
She thinks she is getting a delightful snack when – nope – the bag is practically empty.
Let’s be real; even the best relationships have their fair share of annoyances.
Love might be patient and kind, but that doesn’t mean it’s immune to eye rolls and exasperated sighs. You could be months into a new marriage or ten years deep with your bride, there are bound to be little quirks and habits that get under your skin.
For your reading pleasure, here is a long (and slightly therapeutic) list of relationship pet peeves. Some are common, some are oddly specific, and all are very real and irritating.
50 Relationship Pet Peeves
1. Leaving the Car on Empty
Nothing says love like a surprise trip to the gas station.
2. Leaving Hair All Over the Shower Wall
It’s a hair art gallery no one asked for.
3. “Can You Check My Curling Iron?”
Every time we leave the house. Every. Single. Time.
4. Opening a Bag of Chips Wrong
Why are you savaging it like a raccoon in a dumpster?
5. The One-Word Texter
Your heartfelt message gets a “k.” Stunning.
6. When “I’m Fine” Means Anything But
Fine? You sure about that?
7. Selective Hearing
They didn’t hear “take out the trash,” but somehow heard “ice cream” whispered three rooms away.
8. Passive-Aggressive Cleaning
Banging dishes like it’s a Broadway performance.
9. Phone Zombies at Dinner
Welcome to date night: you, them, and TikTok.
10. Mysterious Food Thief
The pizza you were dreaming about? A memory.
11. Involuntary Group Storytelling
Them: starts story. You: expected to perform live commentary.
12. The Blanket Hog
Every. Single. Night. It’s the Battle of the Covers.
13. Public Overuse of Pet Names
“Snugglemuffin” doesn’t need to be said in front of the barista.
14. Late for Everything
Why even set a time if we’re ignoring it?
15. Weaponized Incompetence
“Babe, you’re just better at loading the dishwasher…” Right.
16. The Backseat Chef
No, I don’t need your advice on how to flip a pancake.
17. Rewatching Shows Without You
The ultimate betrayal.
18. Scrolling While You Vent
“I’m listening,” they claim, while laughing at memes.
19. Forever to Text Back, Instantly Posts Stories
The math isn’t mathing.
20. Loud Chewing
Every bite sounds like an earthquake.
21. Forgetting Important Dates
Birthday? Anniversary? What even is a calendar?
22. “I Told You So” Energy
Ouch. And also… still ouch.
23. Mood Swings Without Warning
From sunshine to stormcloud without notice.
24. Monologuing Instead of Listening
You were hoping for a conversation. You got a TED Talk.
25. Leaving Two Crumbs in the Chip Bag
Just enough chips to make you angry.
26. The Under-the-Covers Farter
Silent but deadly warfare at 2 a.m.
27. Taking Forever to Pick a Movie
“Let’s watch something!” One hour later… still scrolling.
28. Talking Over the Movie You Picked
You wanted this movie. Watch it.
29. Blaming the Wrong Person for Missing Items
“My keys are gone! What did you do with them?” (They’re in their jacket.)
30. Finishing Your Story for You — Wrong
You were telling the story. Now you’re just confused.
31. Not Replacing Toilet Paper
The new roll is RIGHT. THERE.
32. Forgetting to Lock the Door
And now we’re lying in bed wondering if we’re about to be robbed.
33. Hogging the Remote
You might get to watch your show. If you ask nicely. Three times.
34. Interrupting Your Workouts with Random Requests
“While you’re mid-burpee, can you help me open this jar?”
35. Leaving Clothes Piled on ‘The Chair’
You know the one. It’s not a hamper. It’s a chair.
36. Leaving Lights On in Every Room
Is this a power plant? Are we paying the electric bill for the neighborhood?
37. Random Mood Music Changes
Mid-relaxation and boom — death metal at full blast.
38. Starting a Deep Conversation Right Before Bed
I was ready to sleep, not solve life’s mysteries.
39. Leaving Cups Everywhere
Are we hosting an invisible tea party?
40. Leaving the Shower Curtain Open
It’s not a window. Close it.
41. Bringing Groceries in — But Not Putting Them Away
Good effort. Half credit.
42. Taking “One Bite” of Your Food — And Finishing It
“I just wanted a taste!” says the thief.
43. Spending 30 Minutes Finding the ‘Perfect’ Parking Spot
Just park. Please.
44. Packing for a Trip Last Minute
Every time. Panic-packing experts.
45. Forgetting Something Important… Every Trip
Chargers. Wallet. Brain.
46. Leaving Shoes Right in the Doorway
A booby trap for your unsuspecting toes.
47. “Borrowing” Your Stuff Without Asking
New hoodie? It’s theirs now.
48. Half-Listening, Half-Guessing What You Said
“Yeah, yeah, totally” — definitely heard none of it.
49. Messing Up the Grocery List
How did “milk, eggs, bread” become “six bags of chips and a plant”?
50. Leaving Empty Containers in the Fridge
Why is there a tablespoon of milk left?
Conclusion
Let’s face it – no one is perfect. Pet peeves are part of the package when you’re building a life with someone.
The key is compromise and sometimes just laughing at the absurdity of it all. It’s also helpful to remember that you have your own set of irritating annoyances as well.
At the end of the day, love isn’t about perfection; it’s about choosing each other quirks and all.
