9 Valentines Day Alternatives for Jaded Couples
By Jimmy Sliwa
My friend Ray is a genius! Only 2 years into marriage and he convinced his wife to forgo Valentine’s Day and replace it with an “anti-valentines day.”
Jaded by the commercialization of Valentines, he decided to do the opposite.
Every Valentine’s Day, he and his wife wear pajamas, order pizza, and watch scary movies.
I love this idea because it’s true -Valentine’s Day is over-commercialized. Who says all wife’s want teddy bears and chocolate?
If you and your wife are jaded by the typical Valentine’s Day, here are 9 great alternative ways to celebrate.
9 Alternative Valentines Day Ideas
1. Anti-Valentines Day
Skip the roses and candlelit dinners—Anti-Valentine’s Day is all about a cozy rebellion.
Throw on your comfiest pajamas, order a large pizza, and queue up a classic horror movie. This is the perfect way to ditch the cliche and just enjoy time snuggling with your partner. This is much more laid back than getting all gussied up and may even be more memorable.
2. People Watch at the Local Makeout Spot
Trade fancy dinner plans for a front-row seat to the most dramatic (and awkward) public displays of affection in town. Park at a known couple’s hangout, sip on some coffee, and make up ridiculous backstories for each duo. It’s a hilarious way to remind yourselves how grateful you are to be past the early dating chaos.
3. Sweat Together
Skip the dinner reservations and break a sweat instead! Whether it’s hitting the gym, going for a run, or trying a new sport like rock climbing, getting active together is a great way to boost endorphins. This is a fun and healthy way to bond with your mate. Bonus points if you go out for a health post-workout snack afterward.
4. Hold a Funeral for Your Exes
Time to lay that past relationship to rest—literally. Dress in black, print out the worst texts, and hold a dramatic eulogy for your exes. Burn old love notes, bury a shoebox of their stuff, or play a slideshow of all the red flags you ignored. Whether you go full satire or get a little cathartic, this is the ultimate way to say RIP to the past and move on with a laugh.
5. Visit an Escape Room
Put your teamwork skills to the test by getting locked in a room together with only your wits to escape. Will you work seamlessly or end up questioning each other’s problem-solving methods? Either way, it’s a fun way to shake up date night with some adrenaline and laughter.
6. Un-Valentines Bar Crawl
Maybe you’ve already done the romantic Valentine’s Day thing a dozen times—so this year, flip the script. Dress in all black, hit up your favorite bars, and toast to the joys (and hilarious challenges) of married life.
7. Ex-Themed Roasting Session
Remember your exes? Neither do we. But just for fun, pour some drinks and take a walk down memory lane, laughing at all the bad dates, terrible decisions, and red flags you thankfully avoided. Bonus round: lovingly roast each other’s cringiest relationship moments before you met. Do all this over a nice dinner out.
8. Prank Your Favorite Friend Couple
Know a couple who takes Valentine’s Day way too seriously? Time to mess with them. Secretly swap their contact names, send them anonymous “secret admirer” notes, or convince them they forgot to make dinner reservations. It’s all in good fun—just make sure they’re cool with a little mischief!
9. DIY Rage Room- Valentines Edition
Marriage is full of love… but also full of moments where you just need to let it out. Set up your own mini rage room at home—smash some old junk, take turns whacking a heart-shaped piñata, or rip up that pile of expired coupons you swore you’d use. End the night with takeout and laughter, because you survived the chaos together.
