Tabula Rasa -Encouragement for Your Marriage
By Jimmy Sliwa
I don’t have any tattoos, but if I were to get one, I would put the phrase “Tabula Rasa” on my left forearm.
This phrase means a lot to me because I learned it when I was at a low in my marriage.
My wife and I had just separated, and she kicked me out of the house. It was my fault because I had been lying about my pornography addiction and lust issues.
Having nowhere else to go, I made the somber drive to my parent’s house.
While I drove in silence to their house, the phrase “Tabula Rasa” whispered in my mind.
I tried to recall where I had heard this phrase, but had no recollection. I was puzzled about what this phrase meant? Call it God or divine intervention, whatever it was, I felt compelled to understand why this phrase came to mind.
When I walked into the door of my parents, the first thing I did was ask my sister, “Kim, you’re smart – what does Tabula Rasa mean?”
She shrugged her shoulders and didn’t know either; but a quick google search gave me the answer and the hope I was looking for.
Tabula Rasa - Hope For Your Marriage
“Tabula rasa” is a Latin phrase that literally means “scraped tablet” or “erased slate.” The term comes from the ancient Roman writing practice of using wax tablets that could be scraped clean and reused.
The concept was popularized by philosopher John Locke in the 17th century. He interpreted Tabula Rasa to mean a “blank slate.” He used it to argue that humans are born without preexisting knowledge, and that all knowledge comes from experiences. Think of a newborn baby without preconceived ideas or knowledge.
While I can appreciate John Locke’s work, I actually think that his definition of Tabula Rasa was incomplete.
A Better Definition:
The literal definition of Tabula Rasa is “erased tablet.”
This indicates that something was written on the tablet and then erased. What was there before is gone and all that is left is a blank slate.
When I learned this definition, it struck me.
A better concept to the literal meaning of Tabula Rasa is: A Second Chance.
I took this to mean that all the mistakes and failures of the past were “scraped clean.” What I was left with was a new start. An erased past. A blank slate with a new beginning.
Having a Tabula Rasa Moment means you have been given a new chance, and an opportunity to write out a new story on the tablets of life.
Encouragement for your Marriage
I tell you this story to encourage you.
No matter where you find your marriage, there is opportunity for a Tabula Rasa moment.
You have not committed the unforgiveable sin. You are not too far gone to have another opportunity. With God, there is grace and forgiveness to erase your past.
The past does not have to define you. Your future has yet to be written, and let me tell you- your future is bright.
This story happened four years ago and my marriage is now the strongest it has ever been.
Thanks to God and my wife’s forgiveness, I have worked through my issues to restore honesty and trust in my relationship. Taking the concept of “Tabula Rasa” I was able to erase the past of lust, lies, deceit, and dishonesty and rewrite a new story.
Today I walk in integrity and purity and you can too.
