10 Love Hacks to Strengthen Your Marriage
By Jimmy Sliwa
I loved the Disney Fast Pass!
Pay a little extra, reserve a ride, and cut to the front of the line. Saweet!
If given the opportunity, you would cut to the front of the line too, wouldn’t you?
It’s how humans are hard-wired; we all want to take the fast pass.
It’s the same in making a marriage work. Why make things more complicated than they have to be?
It’s already hard enough trying to get testosterone and estrogen to agree at times. Sometimes it’s helpful to incorporate a few ‘love hacks‘ to smoothen out the path.
While love is and always will be the foundation upon which marriage is built, every relationship can use a little extra kindling to keep the flames burning hot.
Whether you are newlyweds looking to fortify the foundations of your marriage, or a grey couple seeking to rekindle the spark – this post is your VIP fast pass to making a marriage work.
I hate waiting in lines. And I hate having tension between me and my wife even more.
That’s where the concept of “love hacks” comes into play.
Love hacks are shortcuts, the tried-and-true secrets, that have helped countless couples thrive in the unpredictable journey of married life.
In this post, I will share 10 marriage love hacks that have the power to strengthen the bonds that tie you and your partner together.
Your marriage is worth the effort, and these love hacks are here to guide you.
10 Love Hacks to Strengthen Your Marriage
1. Go To Bed at the Same Time
Nearly 75% of couples don’t go to bed at the same time. This is unfortunate because “pillow talk” is a terrific way to improve communication between you and your partner.
And we know through research that couples that go to bed at the same time feel more loved, appreciated, and connected to their spouse.
If you are looking to improve communication between you and your wife, start with this love hack and choose to go to bed at the same time.
“Pillow talk” can do wonders for making your wife feel loved and appreciated. It may even increase your physical intimacy as well.
2. Keep a Family Calendar
Let’s face it, life is busy. Especially when you add the kids schedule into the mix. One of the most practical love hacks is to keep a family calendar.
I like to call this “carpe the calendar” – seize the calendar.
Don’t let life just happen to you, get on the same page as your wife by using a family calendar. This can help save you from missing important dates or anniversaries.
3. Schedule Sex
It’s unrealistic to expect sex with your wife will always be hot and steamy. Sometimes you have to do unromantic things like schedule sex. This can be a good way to have an intimate time without too much pressure on your wife. Sitting down and setting sex-pectations is a good way to get on the same page in regard to sex. Men and women have totally different needs so setting sex-pectations is a good thing.
Try sitting down with your wife and talking about each other’s sexual needs in a non-judgmental way. Together, agree on what would be a realistic number of times to have sex and discuss if scheduling in sex would help take pressure off.
4. Pray Together
Intimacy is far more than physical. It emotional and spiritual as well. Many times, couples have nailed down the physical and emotional intimacy, but their spiritual lives are running on empty. One reason for this is that they don’t prioritize praying together.
It’s sad to me when Christian couples don’t pray together. I’m not here to blame anyone, my wife and I didn’t pray together for the first 7 years of our marriage. But when we did start to incorporate praying, we began to see a new level of intimacy we never experienced before.
Prayer has a way of bonding couples together as they seek God to help in the relationship. This love hack of prayer works as a bonding agent because both husband and wife are vulnerable with one another and with God. And vulnerability draws us closer together.
5. Emphasize Non-Sexual Touch
Guys think about sex a lot. But here is a helpful marriage love hack tip –> your wife doesn’t want to be randomly groped throughout the day.
While she doesn’t want to be groped, the chances are that she does want to have physical contact with you. The key is that 90% of your physical contact should be NON- Sexual.
So emphasize holding hands to create fondness, hug to promote closeness, and rub her feet to express gratitude. Emphasizing non-sexual touch can improve your emotional intimacy tremendously.
For more information on this topic check out: 5 Ways Touch Can Turn Her On. – The Husband’s Club (thehusbandsclub.com)
6. Schedule "Business" Dates (weekly)
Yes, planning date nights is critical for keeping a relationship strong, but so is planning “business dates.” Business dates are scheduled time for couples to sit down and talk about the less romantic things in marriage. You know – finances, parenting, career aspirations.
By setting aside time to have weekly marriage meetings, you give your marriage an opportunity to put out fires before they happen. For example, if you discuss finances before it becomes a heated topic you can make much more rational decisions about finances.
Having weekly marriage meetings is a non-confrontational time to get on the same page as your wife.
7. Have Shared Married Friends
The friends that you choose to hang out with will impact your life and marriage, either for the positive or negative. Jim Rohn said it this way, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”
There is plenty of evidence that demonstrates that couples with strong and healthy friendships to other married couples are more likely to stick it through tough times.
It appears that having a good group of married friends is a wonderful support system for when marriage gets challenging. Make an effort to have shared couples as close friends. Heck, you can even do double dates or swap childcare with them.
8. Use Emotion Dictionary
Maybe it’s just a guy thing, but most of the time I don’t have the right words to describe how I am feeling. Maybe this is why I’ll say “I’m fine” when really, I am not.
This is called a lack of emotional vocabulary. It can be hard for men to identify their emotions, causing them to suppress them. But suppressed emotions don’t help anyone, especially if you are trying to resolve marriage conflict. When a guy suppresses his emotions, it can actually cause a distance between him and his wife.
If you struggle describing how you are feeling, you could try this love hack: use an emotional dictionary. Simply google “emotional dictionary” and get a list of hundreds of emotions that all humans experience. Men experience more emotions other than happy, angry, and horny. Use an emotional dictionary to give you insight into which emotions you may be feeling. Lonely? Frustrated? Embarrassed? Thrilled?
9.Walk Down Memory Lane
One of the best things you can do for your health is take a walk. Interestingly enough, one of the best things you can do for your marriage is take a walk down memory lane.
You see, walking down memory lane with your partner helps to build admiration and fondness. It does this by helping you focus on what was good in the relationship rather than what challenges lie ahead.
With every season of life comes good and bad times. Make sure to revisit the good times to build that lasting fondness with your wife.
10. Set Boundaries Before They are Broken
Did you know, most couples don’t talk about boundaries until they are broken. That’s how it was in my marriage. And let me tell you, it caused a lot of heartache. Don’t navigate difficult topics on blind faith. Instead, every couple should have boundaries in place to safeguard their marriage against egregious sins such as infidelity, addiction, or excessive debt.
Get together with your spouse and talk about healthy boundaries before trust is ever broken. Make a game plan for future trials that we all know are bound to show up.
Jimmy’s Personal Boundaries:
- Limit myself to 2 drinks when I’m out with friends
- Never spend alone time with females other than family
- Never Delete message or search history
- Give my wife passwords to all credit cards and electronic devices
Conclusion:
Don’t make your marriage more complicated than it has to be. Try incorporating some of these love hacks to get on the same page as your spouse.
While love is and always will be the foundation for your marriage, adding these practical love hacks can make marriage flow more smoothly. Don’t be whimsical about love – be practical!
Your marriage is worth the effort, and by incorporating some of these ‘love hacks’ you are on your way to a more fulfilling marriage.
