The Only Way to Be a Team in Marriage
By Jimmy Sliwa
Marriage only works if you and your wife are on the same team.
Imagine if you went to watch a doubles tennis match and one teammate refused to step up to the net. The game would be a blow out with that team being eliminated from the tournament.
Now think of your marriage. If you or your wife are not working as a unit, your marriage will drift apart. Two boats that are not tethered together will inevitably drift apart.
The best way to achieve unity and a sense of teamwork is to paddle in the same direction. If you and your wife are focused on the same target, you will make a much better team.
In less words, you and your wife need common goals!
Take a look at this picture
If you and your wife are aiming at the same goal(s), you will be drawn toward each other. You will want to help each other reach the goal because it is a goal that you BOTH value.
When one is feeling unmotivated and burdened there is another teammate pressing on toward the same goal. Having shared goals is the number one way to be on the same team as your wife.
Examples of great common marriage goals.
- Example 1: Husband and wife with the common goal of getting out of debt.
- Example 2: Husband and wife with common goal of raising kids with good morals.
On the other hand, if your goals and dreams as a couple never cross paths you will walk parallel lives.
There is no intimacy in the parallel. Intimacy can only be found at the intersections.
Living parallel lives is what can lead to divorce and loveless marriages. This is why many marriages fall apart after the kids graduate and leave the house. The common ‘goal’ of raising kids is accomplished and the husband and wife no longer have a common purpose.
The result –> a marriage that drifts apart from lack of shared purpose.
Examples of parallel lives without shared goals.
- Example: Husband / wife that is only focused on career advancement and making more income
- Example: Husband and wife that have no common goals after the kids graduate and leave the how.
- Example: Couples that resort to ‘his’ and ‘her’ tasks instead of helping each other
Having individual goals is NOT bad by the way. But if you are wanting to be on the same team as your wife then it is imperative that you have shared goals.
So, my question for you is, are you and your wife paddling in the same direction?
Do you have common goals or are you living parallel lives?
You ought to take the time to write down some common goals.
Here is a detailed list of Great Marriage Goals to get you and your wife on the same page.
15 Marriage Goals to Unify Your Marriage
- Serve God and steward His message to the world
- Raise kids that have good morals
- Raise kids that have positive impact on society
- Get out of debt
- Set specific retirement goals
- Goals to go on adventures together (travel)
- Stay physically fit and healthy together
- Volunteer for a common cause
- Save for your dream home
- Save for a dream car
- Start a business together
- Start a side hustle together
- Goals to support the environment
- Further your education
- Goal to stay married until ‘death do we part.’
Want more help getting on the same team in marriage?
Marriage worksheets designed to get you and your wife on the same page and on the same team!
