1. Ask Her to Have Sex

This may seem obvious, but it’s often overlooked. Sometimes, the simplest step is just to express your desire. Initiating doesn’t have to be elaborate or perfect—a genuine, loving request can go a long way.

Be direct, yet sensitive to her feelings, and don’t be discouraged if the timing isn’t right. The act of asking shows interest and intent, which can make your partner feel desired. 

2. Schedule Sex

While scheduling sex may not sound romantic, it can actually be a game-changer for busy couples. Setting aside dedicated time ensures that intimacy becomes a priority rather than an afterthought.

Treat it like a date night: something to anticipate and enjoy together. Plus, planning ahead can add a layer of excitement as you look forward to connecting. An added benefit is that it may also take off the pressure to have sex be totally spontaneous all the time. 

3. Bless Her with No Strings Attached

Surprise her with acts of kindness that have no ulterior motive. Emphasis on the ‘no ulterior motives.’

Do the dishes, take over bedtime routines, or plan a thoughtful gesture just because you care.

When she feels valued and supported, it’s easier for her to relax and feel emotionally connected. As a rule of thumb, women need to feel emotionally connected to be in the mood for sex. That being said, generosity from a pure heart helps build trust and closeness.

4. Read the Book “Married Sex” Together

Investing in resources that strengthen your marriage can make a big difference. “Married Sex” by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta offers practical advice and insights to help couples enhance their intimacy. 

Reading it together can spark meaningful conversations and give you both new ideas to explore. Sharing this journey fosters deeper understanding and connection.

Be careful though. When my brother and his wife read this book, they accidentally got pregnant with their 4th child. 

5. Go to Bed at the Same Time

Going to bed together creates opportunities for connection that might otherwise be missed. Even if one of you isn’t ready to sleep, simply lying down at the same time allows for cuddling, talking, and potential intimacy. 

Consistently aligning your bedtime can help strengthen your bond and make physical closeness more natural. Again, don’t create a situation where you pressure your wife. Simply aim to go to sleep together in effort to maximize connection. 

6. Talk Sexpectations

Open communication is key to improving your sex life. Discussing your desires, expectations, and any concerns creates a safe space for honesty and growth. 

Don’t shy away from talking about what you enjoy or what you’d like to try. These conversations can lead to a better understanding of each other’s needs and help you feel more connected.

Final Thoughts

Not every intimate moment has to be a grand, romantic gesture. Lowering your expectations can reduce pressure and make it easier to enjoy spontaneous, simple encounters. Focus on being present with each other rather than striving for perfection. 

Increasing the frequency of sex in marriage isn’t about pressuring your partner or striving for unattainable ideals. It’s about fostering connection and communication. By implementing these six hacks, you’ll not only improve your physical intimacy but also strengthen the emotional bond that holds your marriage together. Start small, stay consistent, and watch your relationship flourish.

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